New Years just passed, which means it’s that time again to start thinking about Valentine’s Day. Unless you celebrate Martin Luther King or President’s day in a big way, it’s Valentines season as soon as the new year hits. Whether you’re waiting for that ring or you’re single, this is the season of love.
The season of love comes only once a year, so you may as well make it count. But how….do you ask?
Good thing you asked because Sexy Cupid is here again to help you out with sexy holiday gift ideas and plenty of advice for all types of people during this season that can be stressful if you’re not prepared!
Think buying lingerie at Valentines Day is romantic? Sexy, sure. But romantic? You may want to think twice about this.
Romance in her eyes is not getting some lacy but floss that you expect her to squeeze into in order to prove herself worthy on the day you should be celebrating your love. She wants to be swept off her feet, and then she’ll be more willing to dress up for you in return.
Another way to make lingerie more romantic…add a little sexual something that is just for her. Lingerie turns you on, so get her some toys that turn her on. If you show her you care about her sexual needs, she we will more than happy, and even choose to slip on that little racy outfit you bought.
What to get her to make her Valentines sex unforgettable:
3 Screaming O Vibrating Rings – The Screaming O Vibrating Ring will change the way you have sex forever. Offering 40+ minutes of erotic vibration, this ring will bring your orgasm to new heights and keep her screaming for more. They don’t call it a Screaming O for nothing!
2 Flavored Personal Lubricants – These personal lubricants are made to work with your body’s natural moisture to offer that little extra something to enhance personal intimacy. And they taste great!
2 Sensual Wipes – Whether you need a quick refresher before an intimate session, or an easy and disposable after-sex toilette, these Sensual Wipes contain soothing moisturizers and natural fragrance to keep you feeling fresh!
2 Sensually Thin Condoms – These top-of-the-line condoms are made “sensually thin” for enhanced sensitivity and feeling and pre-lubricated for extra comfort for the ultimate intimate sensation!
1 Fun Positions Booklet – Get tips, tricks and inspiration for using The Screaming O’s sex toys in your favorite sex positions, and watch your sex life change for ever! Or get creative and invent your own!
2 Pillow Mints – Keeping your breath fresh for whatever life brings you, and offer a little sweetness to enhance the after-O glow.
+ FREE Screaming O Vibrating Bullet – The Screaming O Vibrating Bullets are the ultimate go-anywhere, stow-anywhere micro vibrators made for his and her portable pleasure!
10. Cute cupid and hearts clothes and accessories… such as ties, socks and underwear. No, we are not wearing this to work or any wear in public. You can save your money and just write a sign that says “my schmoopy is a pussy” instead.
9. Anything with a bobble head is no longer cool for valentines, (not sure if it ever was but we are now making it official.)
8. Drugstore Valentines gifts may get a guy out of the “holy shit it’s Valentines Day” at 5:15 dilemma (even though her grinding teeth and half smile would beg to differ) But never is the reverse ok. We have no idea what to do with or say when we receive a stuffed animal with a heart under cellophane. Oooh… look he has your eyes, I’ll put it right on the bar so the guys can see it on poker night?
7. A key chain that says “I love you” or any other attempts to pee on our leg to let other girls know this fire hydrant is spoken for.
6. Re gifting old boyfriends stuff. I thought I saw that cheesy red bathrobe in the back of the closet once and why does it already smell like Brut?
5. Vegan alternative chocolates and candy. We are not sure what the hell this stuff is but it doesn’t go with the steak I’m ordering.
4. Condescending Obligatory Holiday Pity Sex. Blocking a time slot to roll your eyes and try and convince us how lucky we are would have had us opt for an argument instead… but then again it is sex.
3. A Romantic chick flick movie. If we must go can I take my roofie now?
2. Anything that gives away the fact that you are a psycho: your blood in a vial necklace, our name carved into your skin, our entire life mapped out in a book, etc.
1. Congratulations Valentines Card …we’re pregnant! (and it’s the second date)
Now, you might be asking…what do I give him?
Great question! Why don’t you start off your shopping with a Screaming O Sexy Cupid gift, the perfect way to spice up your Valentines. And trust me from experience…he will love it…it’s Valentines sex!
10. Ugly stuffed animals with “I love you” messages.
If they are ugly, we don’t want them sitting around the house. They’re useless and they’re creepy. They’ll either end up in the trash or in the dog’s toybox. Even if the stuffed animal is cute, this is not a good present. We will have a moment of ‘Awww…how cute”, and then it’s over. It gets tossed in a corner. Before you know it, you’ll end up with a couch like this:
And…do you really want their eyes staring at you while you’re trying to get it on?
9. Drustore chocolates or candy
Even if you remembered to take off the drugstore label, we can tell what chocolates came from the drugstore. This shouts: last minute present. Oops, I forgot to get you a present so I ran to the only place that was open at midnight.
Here’s another reason not to get chocolates from anywhere: we’re probably on a diet, and you just messed it up. Thanks a lot.
8. Fake flowers
Especially if they light up or include any other lame gimmick. It’s just tacky, and they’re going to end up in the garbage.
7. Facebook gifts
Unless you’re 12 or Aunt Dorothy who “likes” all your status posts, this is not romantic by any stretch of the imagination. And if receiving a Facebook gift wasn’t bad enough, it is now on our wall for the whole world to see and…riducle.
6. Coupons
All I can say is…lame. We want you to do things like this for us throughout the year, many times, without us having to “cash in” on them.
5. Gimmick gifts
If we are expecting a romantic or sexy Valentines present that shows us how much you care, we do not want to get a candy bra, heart print toilet paper, Horny Toads candy, a light up heart mouse pad, love rats, and please, please…if you ever want us to marry you at some point: a fake oversized engagement ring.
4. Tattoos
Unless I ride a Harley, don’t ever even consider this. For either one of us. And FYI, a tattoo of our face or name doesn’t show us how devoted you are, it just shows how stupid you are.
Also bad idea:
Presents for you in disguise:
3. Gaming systems, etc.
Do not buy us a Valentines gift that is a gaming system that you will be using most of the time. It may seem fun the day you give it to us, but as the year goes by, and you are the only one using our Valentines gift, we will start to get pissed. And then we will resent you and the gaming system, and you may come home one day to your girl wearing a new outfit. Where did she get it, you ask? And to your horror, you will find out your gaming system was sold on Craigslist and your Halo progress gone forever.
2. S&M or other bizarre fetish paraphernalia
This is your fantasy, not ours. Please don’t bring Valentines Day into this. If you must, lightly bring up the subject some other day of the year.
1. Breast implant gift certificate
There is no need for an explanation. If you even try this you’re a selfish douchebag, and we will dump your ass.
Now, you might be asking…what do I give her?
Great question! Why don’t you start off your shopping with a Screaming O Sexy Cupid gift, the perfect way to spice up your Valentines. And trust me from experience…she will love it.
You have the perfect Valentines night planned out. You have a cozy table booked at the hottest spot. You are both sipping wine, staring into each others eyes from across the table, over the dimly lit, flickering candle. You tell her how beautiful she looks. She smiles sweetly and returns the compliment. You know this is the moment, the perfect romantic moment on Valentines Day. You have played this moment out many times. You secretly reach in your pocket and pull out the ring. The vibrating ring. She sees it and a frisky, seductive smile now comes over her face.
“Yes, I will!”, her eyes gleam. You too have a an exciting, romantic night…all night long together.
I know, I know. Giving her a vibrating ring when she was expecting an engagement ring is NOT a good idea. However, it is a good idea to supplement a Valentines Day present with a vibrating ring for an unforgettable night.
If you have been dating for a long time, give her a Sexy Cupid package to spice up the relationship.
If you have been dating for a short time, she will not be expecting a ring, so have fun with the way you give her the vibrating ring.
If you are proposing to her this Valentines Day, give her vibrating ring after the real ring as a naughty afterthought.
Whatever your relationship status, a vibrating ring or Sexy Cupid package is the perfect way to make this Valentines Day special.
Valentines Day is just around the corner. Money’s been tight. You and your lover have talked it over and agreed that Valentines Day does not need to be celebrated this year. You have agreed to…no gifts. No biggie, right?
Guys, let me ask you a question. Do you actually beleive this is true? Do you think that Valentines Day will come and go with no mention, and there will be no silent treatment involved? Now, if you are somewhat intelligent, or have been in any relationship, ever….you know this is not true.
The problem is that EVERY other girl on Valentines Day will be getting something. Flowers, chocolates, presents galore shoved in her face. At work, in public, on t.v. and her girlfriends. She will not be able to get away from it. No matter how much she says she doesn’t want to celebrate Valentines Day, she will be forced to be immersed in it. So, no matter how much she says no, the answer is: gift.
The good news is that you don’t have to break the bank to come up with amazing Valentines Day presents. A little goes a long way, especially when you’re on a budget.
Flowers and cards are a must, just to show you love her. But the flowers do not have to be extravagant. The key is to include romantic and sexy little gifts, or shower her with them throughout the day. Cute little sexy gifts make her feel special, loved, and well…turned on. Perfect for a romantic evening together. And the perfect way to end your Valentines Day on a budget.
The Screaming O has the perfect sexy Valentines Day packages, ready for the perfect ending to a perfect day. Cupid’s Bag O Sexy Tricks
Make your Valentines Day the most romantic ever with help from Sexy Cupid. Check back often for advice and entertaining Valentines stories. If you have your own Valentines stories you would like to share, feel free to leave a comment behind!
